It’s Not Love You Fear…

IMG_4609.JPGTalking with people who have been hurt, let down, cheated on, lied to, and more, they usually all say something along these lines. They say, “Love is terrible it’s too painful. I don’t want to go through that again.” To which I reply, “I don’t think it’s love you’re afraid of, but rejection. Love doesn’t hurt us. Rejection does.” They usually agree with that statement. Nodding their head yes. 1 Corinthians tells me, tells you, that it’s not love we fear. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” This is the definition of perfect love. The love Jesus came to show us how to give others. I don’t think any of us are afraid of letting this into our lives. The problem is we are counting on imperfect humans to give us this perfect love. And that is a scary thing. So we first have to acknowledge that we are not afraid of love. Letting it into our lives. That’s important because without acknowledging that, we will keep love from getting in. Maybe not consciously, but the words we use and how we use them, have a profound effect on our lives. I have learned that first hand. And I had to learn it the hard way. That’s why I write now, trying to help others hopefully not have to learn the hard way. Or see that life is not over if they did. So really pinpointing what we are afraid of, or don’t want in our lives, is vital to living our best life.
Okay, we have pinpointed what we are indeed afraid of. Rejection. Being let down again. Getting our hopes up just to find out it was for nothing again. Trust me, I’ve been there. More than one, two, three times. Each blow worse than the first. Partly because in each one I was older, the stakes got a little higher. Partly because I was bringing past hurts into my new hurts. So they just piled on top of each other. And partly because I let each break up tell me that I was not worth loving. Each break up said it louder and with more believability than the last. Rejection gets into the smallest places of ourselves and does big damage. No wonder none of us want to go through that again. So what can we do?
I wish I had that answer for you. I wish I could say to you that next time will be different. I wish I could say that to myself. But I can’t. I can however share with you how I’m beginning to believe in trust again. How I’m slowly opening up to the thought of letting love in again, even though I know what that could mean for me. I am a hopeless romantic who is hopeful of one day getting it right, that’s how I describe myself to others. So how am I moving on past the pain of rejection? Simple, it’s only through God and the blood of Jesus.
After my life took a drastic turn and I went from an engaged woman, about to be a step mom to two adorable kids, to a single again very damaged woman, I had a choice to make. Now I wallowed for a while. A long while. But then I decided it was time to stop. I went to a Christian Life Coach who helped me get all the thoughts running around in my head together. She helped me see straight for the first time in a while. I also grew in my relationship with God. I read every day His words and His promises. I stopped seeing Him as a distant God, and instead a God Who was always right beside me. Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love Hr will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” This verse tells me, tells you, that God is with us. That allows a closeness with God we may have never had before. I also decided to finally let the blood of Jesus be enough to forgive myself of past sins. This was important because one thing I’ve realized on this journey of mine, is that I sabotage relationships due to not feeling worthy of good. I talk to God daily, multiple times a day, whether it be through a formal prayer time, or just me talking like I would with a friend. All of this allows me to know and understand better Who God is. To admire Him and all His ways and creations. By extension this allows me to admire myself as well, for I am one of His creations. God took time to create me, create you, He did that for a reason. He did that for a purpose. And it was not for us to live e a life full of fear. A life where we close ourself off to love, simply out of fear. His perfect love casts out fear. Won’t you take a journey with God as I have, and allow Him to cast out yours? It’s a process, and takes time and effort, but don’t you think you are worth it?

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