Learning To Live In The Now…

65520C90-65B8-4C55-9D88-17CAF1615D8F.jpegLearning to live in the now… This is a lesson I’m certain God is wanting me to learn. It’s a process that takes time and determination. Growing up in an uncertain environment, where I moved a lot, I had 4 different father figures from the ages of 5 to about 14 until my mom married the man that would stick around most of my life. It helped me become a person who is always waiting for something to change or to happen. You learn (not by choice) to not get to attached to anything or anyone. You learn to live in fear of the future. So you rarely live in the now, because you’re too scared of what’s to come and go. It just happens. I don’t think about it a lot, but my childhood really shapes the way I see things and handle things as an adult. I don’t lay blame, or say that my entire childhood was bad. But I do acknowledge it so I can finally heal.
The other night, and maybe you can relate to this, I found myself again worrying about what’s to come. You see there is a lot of unknowns in my life right now. More than most people might be dealing with. I found myself letting my thoughts wonder to the possibilities, all bad of course. But a thought hit me, it said, “live in the now Christa .” You See for now all is going well in my life. I am very blessed. But those looming questions of what’s next are there. So I realized that I was still waiting for bad. That I still can’t enjoy good when I have it because past memories only suggest bad is coming. I don’t want to live that way anymore. I want to be able to live in the moment. Especially the good ones and simply enjoy them for what they are. Can you relate at all? Are you always looking ahead to what might be? Either good or bad? Maybe you’re just like me, or maybe you are so busy working towards the future, that life is passing you by. Let’s stop doing this.
Let’s be present in our lives as they are happening right now. Let’s stop looking backwards or forwards. Stop remembering what was, thinking of what might be, and simply live out what is. Let’s learn to let go of the yesterdays that are gone, and not rush the days that are ahead. Let’s learn to not grieve the days past, or fear the days that have yet to come, but to trust and find good in the moments we are experiencing as they come to us. Let’s learn to remember that the only moments promised are the ones we are currently living in. Remembering that the next day, hour, minute, second, of our lives is not promised. So why worry about them? Let’s learn to let go of our false sense of control and simply be in the moment, allowing it unfold. Take this journey with me won’t you? Wanna know how to?
I’m learning to do this by trusting God. Trusting that He is in control. And no that’s not easy when life has been difficult. I have to fight through memories to do this. I have to fight through years of fearing what’s next to do this. But it’s worth all the effort. And yes, like the other night, sometimes I fall back on bad habits and worry takes over again. But I simply remind myself to “live in the now Christa.” That’s when I stop and acknowledge that I’m having a legit moment of doubt. That’s normal when like has been one battle after another. So I don’t get down on myself for it, but I don’t allow myself to wallow in it either. I stop and I pray. I pray for strength to live in the now. The strength to not let doubt and fear win. I quote Jeremiah 29:11 a lot. I also read Gods word. I spend time in my Bible everyday or at least 5 to 6 days a week. I google bible verses to find the exact ones I need for how I’m feeling. I talk things out with God. Not just in prayer, but in heart to heart talks. Like the ones you’d have with a friend. They are honest and real and raw. I use to choose what I’d say out loud, but then I realized even if I just think it, God still knows. So now I say it all out loud. Even the parts that show I’m having trouble trusting God. After all, He cant fix what we don’t willingly bring to Him. All of this is helping me to heal wounds. To learn to trust. To trust good and not fear bad. It’s a daily struggle still but one I’m glad to say I keep fighting. And one day I’m sure God will help me emerge as a confident woman. One who can live out Proverbs 31:25 “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” That’s my goal. That’s the woman I pray to be. I’m careful not to say I strive to be, but pray to be. I’ve learned the very hard way that my striving gets me no where. But my surrender gets me everywhere. When you grew up a fighter that’s one of the hardest things to do. But once you can, a freedom comes over you like you’ve never experienced in your life.
I pray that if needed, you take this journey also. I pray for your strength and surrender. Dear God thank you for being a God we can trust. Thank you for being a patient God as we learn to trust you. God I lift up my voice for all who are needing to let go of the past and stop fearing the future. God help us to be Proverbs 31:25 people. But also help us to remember to show ourselves grace through this process. To not chastise ourselves when fear or doubt comes back in. Or when we start trying to manipulate life again. But help us instead to remember to simply stop and pray. And to go to the One Who is in control. God thank you for each moment we get to live. Help us God to remember to truly live in them through total surrender to you. We love you God. In Jesus name. Amen.
Change that prayer and personalize it. Change “we” to “I”, make it your own. Pray it daily if you have to. Add in or take out. Just as long as it’s genuine to you and how you feel. God doesn’t want empty words, he wants your heart. I pray you give it to Him and watch Him transform you and your life.

8 thoughts on “Learning To Live In The Now…

  1. You are restoring the faith by some means. And that’s a really good thing. This generation is unhappier than the earlier one. Make sure you smile every day.
    Merry Christmas.
    Have an awesome 2018.
    Live well. 🙂

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  2. I’m in my second year at university so this topic has looming over my life ever since I’ve got here but I had to really have a chat to God about it and really gain his perspective. Just understanding that I know he will never forsake me is what help to keep me grounded. Work as hard as you can and God will meet you half way 💛

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