Let The Light Win…

E6E25F09-6B46-4694-8142-FF17207052F2.jpegI’ve lived the darkest of days. I’ve felt the coldness of being without any light. I’ve known what it feels like to be so low that you can’t imagine ever being up again. To get lost in the jungle of fear, doubt, pain, and loss. To be so lost, that even some people you thought never would, gave up on you ever making your way back. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Finding my way back. Two years later and I’m still in the process of being restored. Illness, anxiety, personal loss, I’ve had to deal with it all. Physical pain, emotional pain, both have taken their toll on my body, mind, heart, and spirit. I’ve spent many hours, days, weeks, months, years, getting back what was lost, myself. Slowly though I’m not only finding who I once was, but also the woman I’m meant to be. This process, as difficult as it has been, has given me the gift of being someone I admire. Someone who gets back up, someone who believes in herself, believes more and more in God, and has a very strong desire to help others do the same. So why do I share this with you?
Maybe you’re in the middle of your darkest days. Feeling just as I did like there is little to no hope. Wishing, praying for the darkness to swallow you up, just so the pain can stop. Unsure of what to do or where to go next. It’s a daunting place to be. I know what it is to pray for death, even though it’s the last thing you want, just for a moment of peace. I may not know what exactly you’re facing, but I do know the way out.
I had to realize that I was fighting just more than one battle. I was fighting not just what was going on in my present. I was also fighting my past, and the fear of a future I couldn’t control. Coming to grips with that was almost impossible for me, being so filled with pride. The process to get me there took a lot, and took a lot from me. I don’t want that for anyone else. So I share my story of loss, but it’s also a story of redemption. Yours can be to.
As simple as it might sound, I only did this through finally releasing all I was holding onto to God. I have had some serious heart to heart conversations with God. Letting out all I had done to try and find the love and acceptance I was so desperately seeking. And it was a lot. But letting go of that stuff that had accumulated in my spirt, left me feeling lighter and more able to accept Gods love, grace, and forgiveness. Which lead to the ability to allow and accept healing. The mind is a very tricky thing, and it has way more control over us than we give it credit for sometimes.
What are you holding onto? I implore you to release it all to God today. Do a spiritual detox. Get out all that junk that is poisoning you. Poisoning your heart, your mind, your spirit, and yes your body too. God is ready to listen and take it all from you. It’s why He sent His son Jesus to die for you. (John 3:16) He is waiting and longing to take from you what is breaking you. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Won’t you finally decide to let Him?
Here’s what I know. Once I finally put away my pride, I received not only physical healing, but heart and spiritual healing too. Simply by giving all my stuff over to God. After almost a year of unexplained illness, I began to heal. I’m still healing. Taking moments with God each day to read His words, talk to Him, talk to others He blessed me with, and finally deciding to try daily to trust God fully. All of these things are what I owe the regaining of my life to. I’m not saying it’s been easy. I’m not saying I don’t still have days where I worry more than I should, or doubt more than I should. I am human after all. But leaning into God helps me rebound from those days faster than I ever could before. So please remember that healing of any kind is a process. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself some grace and time to be restored. Embrace the moments, not rushing to the so called finish line of this journey. Breathe in life daily. Remembering with each breath Who gives you life. Then look to Him daily to help you live it free and abundantly. (John 10:10) As always I am praying for you. ❤️

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