The Mirror…

E9CAC5B7-1E7D-4AE3-81DB-6ABFE2FC1A05.jpegI can very vividly remember the first time I looked in a mirror unclothed at myself while being sick. Clothes have a way of hiding things that’s why I mention the unclothed part. I had been sick for a while at that point. Maybe 3 or 4 months. I knew I had lost a large amount of weight very quickly. However when I looked in the mirror I began to cry. I noticed just how frail I had become. Every rib that was sticking out, the huge gap that was now between my thighs. The unhealthy appearance of my skin, how pale and dry it had become. My face that was looking sunken in, my eyes that once shined bright, now were dim. What stood before me was a shell of who I once was. Whether this sickness was physical, emotional, mental, or all 3, was no longer important. I just needed healing. And in a big way. With no answers (medically) in sight, I had to make a decision. To keep searching for answers in only one place, or go somewhere else for healing.
The mirror has a way about it. It shows us what we look like only, our physical selves. Not who we are or the power and strength we carry inside ourselves. That day the mirror told me I was a woman too weak to fight. I was a woman who had nothing left to give. I could either choose to believe that, or decide to look within. I’m only here writing this today because I decided to look within. I only found the strength to do that though by looking up first.
There was no doubt that something dark had taken over my life. Taken over my body, my mind, my heart, my spirit. I had to decide to fight not just what I thought it was, but also what I didn’t want it to be. I wanted it to be just something physical to fight. That was easier to accept than something had taken over my mind too. God spoke to me very vividly in a dream that regardless of what it was, I was looking for healing in the wrong places. So I decided to only look to Him. To trust Him with my healing and that He would direct me where to go. That’s when I got the strength to begin to fight. To come back from the I can barely hold my frail body up, to the strong woman I’m becoming today. You see it didn’t matter what I was fighting, but how I decided to fight it.
Maybe you’re fighting something today. Something you don’t know what it is, or maybe you do. Either way how you decide to fight it from this moment on is what matters most. Today decide to look up for your strength. Stop letting outward circumstances show you or tell you what you have left to give. Instead look inward to the strength Christ gives you. To the power God gives you to move forward even in the darkest of wilderness places. Deuteronomy 8:1, Ezekiel 34:25, Isaiah 43:19, Revelation 12:6. I promise you this today. What you are fighting, no matter what it is, is not too big for God. Give it to Him. Look up and inward, not to outward appearances. Allow Him to fight for you. It’s the best and wisest decision we can ever make. As always I’m praying for you. ❤️

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