Safe Haven… At Some Point We All Need One…

41A25BA6-EB32-4DA9-9D1B-BAE624022820Safe Haven… A place of refuge or security.
Most of us, no all of us, at some point are in need of a safe haven. This world can get pretty tough to take. Whether it be by things done or said to us, or things we’ve done or said, we can all get lost along the way. Trying to find our way in the flames of loss, pain, guilt, regret, and more around us. We can be left looking for anyway to extinguish what’s burning us most. At some point it’s no longer important who threw the match. All that matters is getting out alive as unscathed as possible.
Problem is some of us look for our extinguisher in the wrong things. I know that’s my story. I’m also pretty sure I’m not alone in this. I looked for it in relationships. I made having a partner in life my way of putting out my low self esteem and insecurity. As if someone could be responsible for putting out the burning of things done and said to me prior to meeting them. That’s a lot to ask of another human. Especially when they are probably broken in their own ways too. All I’ve been left with is broken relationships and more hurt and low self esteem to overcome.
Maybe for you it something different. Maybe you look to alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, self harming, or something else. Looking for anything that numbs the pain, takes it away. The only thing is that the pain always comes back. It’s also usually magnified because now there’s more added, making it bigger than when you tried to escape it. The enemy wants you and I to buy into 2 big lies. First that we are our pain and nothing else. Second that our pain is unmanageable without these things. This way we can be kept in the endless loop of hating ourselves, believing we don’t deserve better, and continuing to try and numb our pain in the most destructive of ways. The enemy is a crafty one. (John 10:10) He knows we will do anything to feel whole. Anything to feel loved and wanted. Anything to feel anything but our pain.
It took completely losing just about everything I cared about to see I was doing life the wrong way. My wrong way was disguised as being there for others. Never saying no. Having all the answers. Being in control at all times never needing any help. Loving others was killing me. I was trying to keep up an appearance that could never hold. Not to hurt others or lie to them or anything like that. But because I had bought into the lie that I was unworthy without perfection. I cracked, my body cracked, my life fell apart. Two years later I’m still healing and putting pieces back together. Maybe you can relate. It doesn’t matter how your particular story goes. How your life fell apart. All of our stories are probably different in some ways. What matters most is that you are ready to fix it. And not with a quick fix this time, but a true complete reconstruction. With true healing.
I want to be honest with you here. This is a journey. It’s not a 2 weeks and I’m good kind of thing. Not even a 2 months. Like I said I’m 2 years in. Recovery from true to the bone life altering hurts is a lifetime thing. Alcoholics and drug addicts stay in recovery for life. There’s a reason for that. It doesn’t take much to fall back on bad habits. So if you truly want to heal, and you gotta want it, strap in for a long ride.
My true healing began when I surrendered to God. When I finally could admit I couldn’t do anything without Him. When I finally could boast in my weakness instead of my fake strength. (2 Corinthians 12:9) When I finally decided I could never be perfect so I allowed the only perfect person into my life and take over completely. Jesus saved my life. I want the same for you more than I can put into words. My prayer for you today is that you stop looking for refuge in that drink, pill, that next bet, a person, or whatever your thing is, and go to God. The only true safe haven . (Psalm 46:1, Psalm 91:2, Proverbs 18:10, Psalm 18:2) Then you can break out of all those bad habits and into living your best life. Take your time with God daily, show yourself some grace, and don’t forget to also notice all the good around you too. Love yourself. Right now just as you are. God does. Then allow that love to give you the desire to fight with God. Remembering to allow Him to take the lead. (Deuteronomy 20:4, Chronicles 20:17, Isaiah 41:10) As always I’m praying for you. Please feel free to pray for me too. We are in this together my friend. (1 Peter 5:8-9)

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