Empty Arms…

6B960A6F-A353-4A7A-AFB3-122F5AFB1697For those who have always desired to be a mom but have not had it happen yet. I understand your pain today. All days really. 

I have desired to be a mom since I was a teen. I named them (one boy and one girl) when I was a teenager. I wasn’t wanting to be a teen mom, but I dreamt of the day I’d hold my baby in my arms. But my arms have remained empty and I’m no longer a teenager. I’m now a 42 year old woman who is dealing with an empty womb along with empty arms and an aching heart. All of you today who are also dealing with this same hurt, I am with you in spirit. I am coming along side you today to deal with this together. I don’t know your story of how or why you are without child, but I do know that’s not what’s important today. What’s important is your aching heart and weary spirit. Your tired eyes from countless tears. Your sometimes waning faith from what seems and feels like unanswered prayers. 

Today I want to speak to you as a friend. As someone who is sitting right beside you, holding your hand, letting you know that you are not alone. And that God is with you too. He knows how much this hurts. He knows how much this means to you. And so it means a lot to Him. I don’t pretend to understand why myself, why you, have not had children. Why the answer to this prayer as of now has been wait, or maybe even a no. I can’t begin to understand His ways. They are higher than mine. I do know that He has His ways though. It’s my prayer today that you decide to trust God. To release this desire to Him. To get out of this place of emptiness and look into your places of blessings. We all have blessings. I pray that you ask God for the strength to surrender this to Him. I have had to. I’m not even remotely suggesting it’s easy. But we must get to a true place of surrender if we ever hope to live our best life. With or without a yes to our prayer. 

Side note: If you’re anything like me I’d like to speak on this also today. Most of us know the verse pertaining to delighting  in God and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Here’s the thing though. When we take delight in the Lord we won’t want anything that isn’t His will for us. As hard as that can be when it comes to something as big as being a mom or not, it’s still true. I have fought this for many years. Honestly sometimes I still do. If God loves me and will give me the desires of my heart then why not this? It’s one of my biggest ones. It’s one that hurts me the most. Others get it. WHY. NOT. ME.? Oh how I wish I knew. I wish I could tell you how this will all turn out with a baby of your own. But I don’t know. I do know though through very personal experience that God can help you replace that desire. I know it sounds so crazy. And it’s not that you won’t still think about it. But God has helped me after many many many many hours of crying, prayer, reading His promises, to replace mine. Now my desire is to help others who need to let go too. This, my writing, is now my baby. I nurture it, pray over it, and believe in it like I would my child. Because you matter to God. So you matter to me. 💕

2 thoughts on “Empty Arms…

  1. I fell on your instagram page this evening and wanted to let you know that this post was such a blessing. I see pain scatted all throughout the post, but I also see the remeptive love and power of Christ. I am going through a tough season and find myself asking why (or more like WHY GOD, WHY!) and have yet to find an answer. Your post brings me back to the Character, Soverignty and trust that God is all satisfying and faithful.

    Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. Yes there is pain but there is also restoration and hope. Maybe not for exactly how I saw my life going, but for still an amazing life lived through Christ. I am so sorry that you are hurting. I have been there and still am some days. After intense illness and personal loss these last couple of years God has shown me just how powerful and loving He is. One thing I’ve learned in all of this that I hope can help you move on is this. We have to stop looking for the why and change our question to what now? God has His ways and though I’d give anything to know why I had to go through all I did (becoming ill my fiancé breaking up with me in the middle of it) I may never know. But your messsge is a small glimpse I believe from God. If I hadn’t the. I wouldn’t be writing like I am. And you my friend may not have felt His touch on your heart like you did. I’ll pray that you can stop asking why and say okay God now what?! There is so much blessing and love and growth to be found when we ask the correct questions. 💕

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