When I Feel I Don’t Measure Up…

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If you feel you don’t measure up. First make sure you’re not trying to measure up to the wrong thing. And/or for the wrong reasons.
Complete honesty time here! I can so easily find myself comparing myself to other women. It happens naturally. I don’t even have to try. I can be taking a leisurely stroll down my Facebook feed, and bam! I’m comparing, and yes with that, sometimes judging, and I didn’t try to have even one of those thoughts. 🤦‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️ I’m not proud of this, I pray over this a lot, I’m currently reading a book on how not to compare myself to others. I do all the “right things” and still somehow it happens. How about you? Do you ever find yourself comparing and judging without even trying?
I feel awful when I do this. I can at least now notice these thoughts and feelings very quickly and repent for them. I know I want everyone to live their best life, I mean hello? However the human side of me sometimes twinges with jealousy when it seems their best life is better than mine. Here’s what I’m learning, as slow as it my be. Gods will and plan should be my ruler, not others lives. When I feel as if I’m not measuring up, like a failure, it’s usually because I’m measuring myself to others and not Gods plan for me. I am so busy trying to be more like people I was never meant to be, that I’m totally missing out on who I am supposed to be. At least in the present moment. Who knows who God plans for me to be later down the road.
I believe we all fall into this trap at times in our lives. If we are completely honest with ourselves here. Maybe you don’t do it as often as I seem to can, but you’re human too. And it’s okay. It’s okay to be human and have human emotions. Funny thing to me is how Satan is banking on this. Even sometimes helping the process along with loud voices in our heads saying, “Well if God truly wants you to be happy He would have given that to you.” Then he will turn right around and use it against us. He will then say, “That’s why God isn’t blessing you. You don’t trust him.” It’s a sneaky way that devil works. And yet somehow we believe it and then get mad at God and not the devil for his lies! I have learned the grace of God first hand. I know and have felt His presence and whisper of, “Its okay my child, bring your doubts to me. I will give you rest.” Today if nothing else, make sure you are 100% sure who you are hearing from and listening to. If it gives you more stress it’s not from God. If it makes you feel unworthy, it’s not from God. God knows we are human and loves us anyways. He loves us through our doubts and fears to the other side where we can find faith. Today let yourself off the hook for being human. God already has with the cross and Jesus.
I don’t usually talk about the picture I choose to go along with my blog. Today though I feel it’s important to. I came across this profile on Instagram where I have a yourbest.life page. It’s daily smaller posts of encouragement I share. Go check it out!) Anyways, when I came across “thisillustriouslife” on there, I immediately without even trying dismissed her. I felt she was someone I didn’t need to follow or listen to. Why? Jealousy. Comparison. Yes it’s true the woman who writes the messages on this page and on her blog is EVERYTHING I feel I AM NOT! She is stunningly beautiful, well put together, a wife, a woman who seems to havevit all together. That’s what I saw with my eyes and it pierced my heart with a big, “you’re not good enough” message. So naturally I judged her out of my humanness. Well, I decided to read just one of her entries anyway, and man am I glad I did! She is way more like me than I would have ever guessed. She is genuinely a mess too. Just with different circumstances. Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t want her to be a mess. I’m not heartless. But I was honestly relieved. Why? Because God showed me that I’m comparing myself for no reason. I am causing myself undue stress. We are all human and have struggles. Even the ones who look like they have it all together, or seem more talented than you, or have more than you, I am so glad I gave this woman a chance. In fact I commented on one of her pictures and told her this story. She’s an amazing perfectly imperfect woman doing life with God. My point here is this.
God gives us all different ways to be effective for Him. And when I’m too busy comparing my ways to others ways, I’m being unfair to God, to them, and to myself. I’m not a wife, I don’t have a beautiful home to snap pictures of for my Instagram posts, I don’t have children to share and all the writing that can bring in to share. There are many ways I feel inadequate at times as a social media presence. But I do have a testimony. I do have a life changing relationship with God to share. I do have first hand experience at putting a life back together after it completely shatters. I am exactly who God needs and wants me to be right now to share Him with the world. Sure I may have to use memes more than other writers because my life doesn’t lend itself to many picture taking opportunities. Except selfies and even I get tired of those. But my words, the words God gives me are genuine, heartfelt, and true.
Do you believe you have something to offer God? You do! I know you do! How? Simply because you are breathing, His breath is giving you life which means you have something He wants you to share with the world. It may not look like others and that’s okay. Because God created you to have your own impact on the world. Yes sometimes others have (or seem to have) a platform that makes it easier for the world to notice them. But God doesn’t need a worldly platform. He does however need a you that believes in themselves and in Him. To boldly say, I am worth listening to. It doesn’t have to be in a big way. Not everyone wants to be a blogger or social media presence. We all however do want to leave our mark on the world. This can be done in many different little ways. It’s between you and God how He uses you to show His love and hope to the world.
Who I am today looks nothing like I planned or hoped. That doesn’t mean I’m not everything I want or am meant to be in this moment. God has taken a shattered woman and made her whole again. He is showing me daily that I have much to offer this world that has nothing to do with my marital status or income, or parental status, or my ability to take an aesthetically pleasing photo, or any other ways I feel I don’t measure up. (Not that any of these are bad things.) They are just a couple of big ways the enemy tries to make me quit writing everyday. I am learning to shut him down from the get go now. That doesn’t mean I don’t have to be super vigilant here. And so do you. The world is good at telling us who we should or shouldn’t be. And even trying to show us who we are not. God is even better though at telling us who we are. We just have to be very careful who we listen to.

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